The Very Kind Fella

I would like to thank the very kind fella that lives near us.  HE knows who I am talking and I know who he is.  HE keeps calling the cops and crying about us parking our lively hood in front of our house that we own. 

 Just remember who brings you and your family every single thing you use everyday, yup the truck drivers (uhh ummm, NO STEERING WHEEL HOLDERS HERE) you keep calling the cops on. 

You see Mister Nice Guy we had a long day yesterday and ran out of hours. Not that you would know anything about that (UHH UMMM SWH) with your head buried in a snow bank and all. So we parked in front of our house knowing it would only be there for a few hours because we had to leave in the morning to deliver our goods. You know the everyday items you use. You know the food you eat. The buttwipe you use. I bet you called the police as the truck was leaving the curb. I hope this gets back to you, as I know it will since you live so close to us and all...hint hint 

 So I would like to take the time to Wish You and Your Family A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!! One more thing, your an ASSHOLE!

  OH AND A FYI it is NOT  illegal for us to park there. So all you are accomplishing is wasting taxpayers dollars and the policeman's time every single time you call in and they stop in to talk to us about it. Kind of makes you even a bigger asshole now doesn't it??

 

Walmart

I remember as a kid getting the treat of a half bottle of soda pop. I would have to share it with my sister but boy it sure was a delicious sweet treat. Today's pop, not so good it has a sickening sweetness to it, almost like a syrup. Same way with fruits and veggies. They tasted like fruits and veggies, not a giant blob of wax as they taste today. I miss the real foods of my childhood. And I miss meat. Yup a big ole hunk of red meat. Ya know the stuff, you throw it on the grill, five minutes on one side and three on the other. You didn't need a knife to cut it, just so tender and juicy. Today's beef you need a chainsaw to cut that shit! Yucky!

Remember the old Where's the Beef commercial? I do! I remember when we would go to McDonald's or Burger King for a treat. They actually had all beef parties. Non of this pink slime crap. Non of this 85% filler stuff. It was meat, real meat. Made with buns that had real flour in them! Oh kids today have no idea!

Then it seemed like almost over night these little bitty stores started pippin up all over the place. At first they where kind of cool. Their motto was 100% American made... then it changed and the world changed.... Walmart took over.

I remember going school clothes shopping, not because our clothes had worn out or ripped out from washing. Not from the buttons falling off or because the elastic shredded apart. Not because the cheap material pilled up from a single washing as it does today  but ... wait for it, because we out grew it!  Same way with appliances. My dad bought one of the first microwave ovens, he had that darn thing for over twenty years. And yes it worked fine all those years. Today what maybe three years and then you need to buy new?! Ten for major appliances. Remember the old small appliance repair stores? Instead of buying a hunk of new junk you would take your well made item to be repaired if needed. That way it would last a lifetime. Well Walmart changed that.

Now lets talk about diaper rash. How to give your child diaper rash. Its easy. Go to Walmart and buy the cheap  disposable diapers. Not pampers the Walmart brand. Change your child's diaper as often as you would with a quality brand. BINGO you now have given your child diaper rash. Now run to Walmart and buy diaper rash ointment and lather the child's ass. Do it well, you don't want the pissy diaper against their skin.
How to prevent diaper rash
Option 1: cloth diapers change often they can sit in the wet for a small time
Option 2: buy a good brand, ie Pampers. Can wear the longest time
Option 3: buy a cheap brand and change the instant they are soiled. You will need three of these to equal one cheapy brand.  So how did you save money?

Now lets talk about garbage.

 Garbage pickup has risen in cities and towns because people have more garbage. Face it, one person can have five bags of crap in a week. And yes I to blame this onto Walmart  You see they sell crap. Almost every day I come across something that needs to be replaced, socks, underwear, toaster, short lived light bulbs, plastic water faucets, very thin paper towels, paper plates so thin you need to use three or four just to hold one piece of lettuce. So in return I  use more of these paper products,  I throw more away,  I have to buy more of these cheap thin. Now where was I? Oh yeah garbage. Do you see where I am going with this? Yup if I would spend the extra dime or quarter, well I would get a better product and my needs would be cut  in half. So in the long run I would save money.

The Fake. The Poser.

fake

1.) The opposite of real, genuine or proven.

2.) Sometimes applied to people who are accused of being something they are not. See poser.

poser

Someone whos acts like someone they're not, but not realizing that they are being fake, basically a loser trying to fit in.
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We all know one or two... They make us mad, with their sweet smiles, and oh so loving attitudes. Well let me describe a person I had the pleasure of knowing and trusting.

It started out innocent enough. She moved into the area and I showed her around, introduced her to my friends.

Things were going great, or so I thought. Stuff just started to get weird...

She said she never would go barefooted because she hated getting her toes dirty. She thought it was so disgusting when I would do it, made fun of me.

She told me she would never smoke pot because it made her so tired, the reason I refuse to smoke. I have nothing against it but boy oh boy she sure did, my friends were scum because they smoked.

She would not ride bikes with us because her friend was killed on one. She thought we were idiots because we ride every waking minute we can.

She hated my friends, I mean Hated them, talked about all of them. Cut them down, spread rumors about them. She even stole money from a couple of them.

We let them move into our house when we left the area, what a huge mistake! Her and her spawn totally trashed our 1915 Victorian home. They refused to pay rent or the utilities, and we as the owners, well it was added onto our taxes, which they were supposed to pay under our agreement we had. We ended up with over $8000.00 in damages and unpaid utility bills.

OK, so we finally kicked them out, the words flew and the hate formed. Here is the end result:

She is a barefooted, bike riding, dope smoking fiend that has twisted words, made up lies and wormed her way into the lives of people she hated and stole from.

Do I have the right to be pissed off? Because by her ring of fake friends I should not be upset or mad. I should have let them stay in our house rent free. I should have let bygones be bygones.

 Now tell me, is this a POSER?

The End Is Near... Or Is It??

So is everyone ready for December 21st? You know the Zombie Apocalypse or is it Mayan Doomsday? Who knows, we all may wake up on the 22nd only to find out we are all zombies, or is it a select few are zombies. Or maybe we won't wake up at all.  I’m not sure how that is going to work.

I just find the entire thing utterly amazing, gun sales have risen, shelters are being built, survival courses being taught, and survival kits are being sold! And this phenomenon is worldwide! Crazy huh?

Mayan  OR Zombie You be the judge. Good luck!!